dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So much Jack, so little girl.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
