I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
