My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
