I'm going to rape someone's good day.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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