At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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