Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
