I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize