i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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