Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
