My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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