It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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