see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
