I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
