Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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