I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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