I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Randomize
