After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
