I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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