Don't make out with my wife yet
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
