Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
