Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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