It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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