Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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