Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
