Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
