i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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