Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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