Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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