...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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