I bet he comes in French.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
