Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
