There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
