she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
