Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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