We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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