I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
