Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
