fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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