Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
