Where did you get a picture of my penis
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
