I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
