Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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