It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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