found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
