put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
