Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
