i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
