Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
