i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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