She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
